


aftermaths

by valdera



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Spoilers for the Anime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 04:08:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11775171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valdera/pseuds/valdera
Summary: He cannot get the sight ofeverythingout of his mind.More accurately: he cannot get Fushimi Saruhiko off of his mind.(three aftermaths from yata misaki's view, and an inescapable tie with saruhiko)





	aftermaths

**Author's Note:**

> my very first foray into this relationship!! i have a lot of feelings abt misaki and his character

**1\. burns**

 

 _This_ , Misaki thinks, _is the first aftermath._ He cannot get the sight of _everything_ out of his mind.

More accurately: he cannot get Fushimi Saruhiko off of his mind. He thinks of the burns on his chest and Misaki’s heart twists. His pride feels like it has been beaten up.

Saruhiko’s insignia is blackened and dusty. Seeing the burns on Saruhiko’s skin makes Misaki want to cry, makes him want to scream.

He’s been betrayed. Saruhiko was—was _there_ , and now he’s not, and he’s betrayed HOMRA. And he’s betrayed Misaki.

He does not say anything. Maybe he screams and he kicks, but in the end, he finds an unused alley and cries and screams because part of his heart isn’t with him anymore. His vision blurs and his stomach twists. There is an acute kind of disgusting sickness that comes with being sad, Misaki thinks.

He hates Saruhiko, hates him so so _much—_

Misaki digs his fingernails into the skin of his insignia. He wants Saruhiko here. He feels like his insignia has been burned into bits, so he digs into his skin and promises himself it’s still there.

 _I still have something,_ Misaki thinks. He has a part of his heart, he has HOMRA, and Kamamoto, and Mikoto—

And he does not have Saruhiko.

He does not have everything.

The aftermath never disappears easily, Misaki learns. It always sticks around, like a sick parasite. It is a reminder of everything you lose and everything you can not get back.

But you do not lose the aftermath.

The aftermath always stays.

It is the most terrifying and comforting thing in the world.

 

**2\. winter**

 

When Mikoto Suoh dies, Saruhiko is not with him. But his HOMRA insignia is still on his chest, and so he streaks hi finger across the symbol, thinking of the black smudges on Saruhiko’s insignia. He does not make any mistakes. He will remember that insignia for as long as he lives.

He still remembers screaming as his sign was glowing red, still remembers the way that Saruhiko has looked at him with such frantic eyes and sent heat rising through him—

He breathes out. His breath curls in the air and he watches it slowly dissipate in the night air.

He thinks of Saruhiko’s fingers on his insignia, thinks, _I want to feel that again, I want to see him again,_ and says nothing.

He wonders if Mikoto knows him. Knows that Misaki is much more than a loudmouth. Saruhiko knows, Misaki thinks. He knows that Misaki is like a burning fire with nowhere to go. Misaki can see it in the way Saruhiko mocks him, can feel it in the way Saruhiko’s words burn him to bits and the fact that he does not know how to be anything but wild.

He thinks that HOMRA, first and foremost, is family.

He feels like the only one who is still clawing for that hungry fire, waiting for a thirst to be quenched, waiting for things to get better.

 _Anna has fire,_ Misaki thinks. She has fire and determination that glows steady.

Misaki tumbles along like fireworks, loud and short and brash without any real purpose.

He meets Saruhiko on the way home.

They meet eyes, once.

Quietly, Saruhiko raises a hand to his insignia.

Misaki raises his hands up to his insignia as well. His heartbeat seems to be the only sound in the world, and for a moment, he thinks he can hear Saruhiko’s, too.

Misaki breathes in. _The aftermath is not the end,_ he thinks.

He looks at Saruhiko and thinks, _we are nowhere near finished._

 

**3\. everything**

 

"What matters to you most right now?" Saruhiko asks.

 _He looks beautiful like this,_ Misaki thinks, still caught up in that post-battle high, when his expressions are looser and Misaki feels like he can hear Saruhiko’s heartbeat in his own chest, like twin hearts that survive together.

Misaki breathes in. Breathes out. Stares at the reflection of himself in Saruhiko's glasses. Stares at the eyes behind them and thinks, _you_.

"Anna." he tells him, voice betraying nothing. Sometimes he wishes that it had been Saruhiko who would first tell him how to lie, so that Misaki could never be anything but truthful to him. He still wishes that, even as he stares at Saruhiko and tells him nothing. _She is my king,_ Misaki thinks, in the privacy of his mind. _I must serve her, and we will move on together. She is like a little sister to me._

_But you, you—_

He sets his skateboard down.

"I'll be fine," Saruhiko tells him, like he’s reading Misaki’s mind. Misaki wonders if he can tell that Misaki is lying.

Misaki looks into his eyes and thinks, _I can see you. And I will not let you go again._ Hopefully Saruhiko will be able to read that.

 _Saruhiko._ He thinks the name inside his head, feels it bubble up with warmth, and he turns away and does not look back.

They meet again in the aftermath. Misaki knows that things have been lost. But he sees Saruhiko and he thinks that the aftermath is something precious and all-consuming, like fire.

An aftermath has never felt so much like a beginning.

 _I trusted you,_ Misaki thinks, breathless, and he tackles Saruhiko without a second thought. _I—_ he wants to say, _I have been waiting for you. I would wait for you forever._

His smile is hopeful and sappy and he grips Saruhiko so tight that he may never let go.

Saruhiko does not pull away, and that is answer enough.

 _Anna is my first priority,_ Misaki thinks.

_But you, you—_

_You are my everything._

**Author's Note:**

> find me @ sonnets-of-beauty !!!


End file.
